Losing a Spouse: A Widower’s Way addresses widowers in their grief to offer them hope and perspective. It is written also for those who are about to enter into that grief. It offers aid in coping with the life changing loss of their wives. It is a helpful resource for those who want to console their grieving friends. It broaches the questions of styles of mourning, establishing new routines and adjusting to life after the loss of a wife. Widowers are largely forgotten and characteristically do not have circles of close friends with whom they can discuss the experiences that led to their widowhood or what they are going through as widowers. This volume considers also the social, emotional, physical, legal, financial and spiritual concerns of widowers. It touches upon the “why” of suffering, the issue of suicide, as well as the matters of remarriage and reintegration into society.
The core of the material was drawn from the author’s experience as a long-term caregiver and widower, but it samples excerpts from interviews with ten widowers who share their experiences. Presented also is literature on grief, mourning, living with loss, and living alone after loving.
Dr. Disselkoen has provided a solid bit of writing that should become a source of guidance and reassurance to men who have suffered the loss of their wives, as well as those for whom this bitter loss is imminent. Disselkoen’s collected experience – his own and that of the men he interviewed – is reinforced by the expertise of cited sources, giving this book a more durable wisdom than could have been achieved by the more common approach of relying on a single perspective.
Dr. Kriss Wiant, Ph. D., Psychologist
In A Widower’s Way Dr. Disselkoen leads us through his experience in caring of his beloved wife who gradually succumbed to cancer. In so doing he skillfully weaves together personal reflections, sound theological insights, and good practical suggestions. With thorough precision he tells this story which is at the same time heart-warming and heart-wrenching, for example, when his wife says, “Let God bring about what he will … I want to die at home” (32). On display for us is his wife’s courage, God’s love, and reverend Disselkoen’s own dependence on the Lord. The book is well-structure into three parts as it rehearses his experience and grief during her illness, at her death, and through the days that followed. But this is not a “one size fits all” approach, for as Disselkoen himself admits, “each one must parse out his grief in his own time and on his own terms” (189). The book is a thoughtful, well-written, valuable contribution from which those who seek counsel in the midst of bereavement may receive guidance, gain wisdom, and draw much-needed comfort.
Dr. Scott Wright, Ph. D. Senior Pastor, Redeemer Church, Hudson, Ohio
Dennis Disselkoen, Th. M.; Ed. D., ministered in the Presbyterian Church in America for ten years. In 1985 he became a minister of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church serving congregations in Alabama and Illinois. He studied in Jerusalem at the Institute for Holy Land Studies and at the Hebrew University, and has graduate degrees from Covenant Theological Seminary and Northern Illinois University, Department of Counseling, Adult and Health Education. He has three adult children and seven grandchildren. The author retired after thirty-seven years in the pastorate and currently lives in Brecksville, OH.
REL012010 RELIGION / Christian Living / Death, Grief, Bereavement
SEL010000 SELF-HELP / Death, Grief, Bereavement
SEL010000 FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Death, Grief, Bereavement
bereavement books; losing a spouse; losing a spouse coping with grief; losing a spouse book; losing a wife book; moving on after death of spouse; spouse grief; widows and widowers; moving on after death; losing a spouse suddenly;
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